Michelle Obama and BurgerNormally I’d feel sorry for you, Michelle, and opine how the meeja and bloggers of every political stripe are demonstrating their innate gasbag characteristics all over this story.

Unfortunately, I just can’t. I was a fat kid, and I know that the last thing fat kids need is for people to give their peers ammunition against them. You could have developed a fine campaign encouraging all kids to be active and enjoy the outdoors in all kinds of ways and for all kinds of reasons; instead, your initiative was specifically about reducing “the epidemic of childhood obesity” (*gasp*!) which only serves to stigmatize fat kids and encourage other kids to shame them because of how they look.

Maybe now you’ll understand what it’s like to have your food choices and your body scrutinized 24-7 by a hostile audience. I’d like to feel sorry for you, but you practically went out looking for this shitstorm. Just try to learn something from it, okay?

Photo shamelessly stolen from Gawker, those pricks.