What Trans People Need to Know When Using My Restroom

From my earlier post you might think I give a ton of fucks about men in the women’s room. For myself, I’m not all that concerned.* Predatory restroom attacks are pretty rare overall (though they do happen, and it’s the continual fact-free denial of that reality that required a laying out of evidence).


There is some basic public bathroom etiquette that I am sure most trans people are well aware of and practice consistently. If that describes you, congratulations, and thank you. This post is not meant for you.


I have been in situations where males dressed in women’s clothing have violated basic public restroom etiquette, thereby demonstrating that their interest in the women’s room goes beyond micturition. Or maybe they were just ignorant of how women do things. I can see how they would be, since they are male.

Either way, the following should help, and should be assumed to apply in any sex-segregated space where any degree of naked business takes place, such as locker rooms, department store dressing rooms, the women’s tub at the spa, etc.

My restroom rules, in order of my personal preference**

Unless you know me, or something is on fire:

  1. Ignore me completely. Go about your business. Wash your hands and leave. I will reciprocate.
  2. If you must, give a distant greeting. A nod and/or smile and one second of eye contact and/or say “Hello.” Go about your business. Wash your hands and leave. I will reciprocate.

That’s pretty easy, right?

If you direct any of the following (let alone anything more intrusive) at someone you don’t know in the restroom, you are acting like a creepy perv, regardless of your intention or whether other women (say they) like it. In my nearly 50 years of experience, women almost never behave in these ways with strangers in public restrooms.

Restroom no-nos

  1. Extended looking, smiling or eye contact.
  2. Striking up a conversation on any topic, especially while I am going about my business.
  3. Asking my opinion of your hair/clothing/makeup.
  4. Making a comment on my appearance in any way.
  5. Attempting to flirt.

Above all, do not interpret polite responses to any of the above as a) evidence that you pass or b) wank fodder. Because a) you don’t***, and b) I refuse to be a tool of your sexual fetish.

If you’re really just there to pee, do that, and get out. Anything else gives away your true intentions, and proves women have good reasons for not wanting you in our sex-segregated spaces.

* On behalf of young, old or disabled females, who may be perceived as more vulnerable in the restroom by male sexual predators, yes, I am worried.
** Because isn’t it all about our feelz?
*** Though we know better than to tell you so, because we don’t want you to punch us in the mouth.


Peak Trans: Debunking Twitiots


(Image reproduced from here.)

From Term Abdominal Pregnancy with Healthy Newborn: A Case Report:

Ectopic pregnancy represents about 1–2% of all pregnancies with 95% occurring in the fallopian tube. Abdominal pregnancies represent just about 1% of ectopic pregnancies.

Doing math… so the scenario tweeted above occurs in roughly 0.0001% of all pregnancies. Oh look, the nice authors did some math too.

The incidence of abdominal pregnancy … ranges between 1: 10000 pregnancies and 1:30,000 pregnancies …

Something that the nice authors, I’m sure, felt was self-evident such that they did not need to explicitly mention it, was that the group of people in whom this condition occurs is the group of people who always conceive and gestate human fetuses — female humans.

When an abdominal pregnancy is diagnosed in someone female, immediate surgery to remove the fetus is normally recommended.

Of course I can’t be sure of the tweeter’s intent, but may I state for the record that in the reality-based community, male people will not become randomly pregnant via a fertilized egg implanting on their intestines. A fertilized egg cannot spontaneously occur where there is no ovary to produce it, and no way for viable sperm to reach it (AKA “a vagina”).

Were a uterus-free person somehow able to find someone reprehensible enough willing to inject a fertilized egg into their abdominal cavity, and were that fertilized egg to implant onto the peritoneum (despite the vanishingly small chance of this happening spontaneously, as cited above), that uterus-less person would be at risk for the same very serious and potentially life-threatening conditions as a uterus-plus person with a (much more statistically likely but still statistically rare) ectopic pregnancy: Extreme abdominal pain, bleeding, infection, and organ rupture.

the diagnosis is made on the basis of the ensuing complications such as hemorrhage and abdominal pain. Maternal mortality and morbidity are also very high especially if the condition is not diagnosed and managed appropriately. These pregnancies generally do not get to 37 weeks (term gestation) and usually the end result is the extraction of a dead fetus. Another challenge for babies from abdominal pregnancy is the very high incidence of congenital malformations. Abdominal pregnancy at term with a healthy viable fetus is therefore an extremely rare condition…

Facts are your friends, people. Please do your research and don’t believe everything you read on Twitter.