A dickwad said what?

I hate that I am expending time and energy on the latest (and hopefully last) controversy generated by a person who gets way more attention than a garden-variety bully with an acute case of potty-mouth like him deserves.

And yet it sickens me to see not only the usual apologists for predatory male sexuality, but people who should know better, defending this shitsack.

So yeah yeah, the right was totally fine with his ongoing, virulent misogyny, racism, and other sickening trolling for attention. Honestly, is it news to anyone on the left that conservatives are overwhelmingly misogynist and racist? If it is, y’all have seriously not been paying attention. But now that they have dumped his sorry ass, you’re mad at them for taking issue with support for pedophilia? It’s a low bar, sure, but honestly I was relieved to see they had one.

Dickwad claims he was misquoted, his words were taken out of context, even that he was guilty of “sloppy phrasing.” But watch this interview (if you can stand to). He’s unambiguously arguing that gay and straight sex between adults and young teens is fine. Maybe that’s because he is an abuse survivor, maybe that’s not what he really thinks, maybe he reconsidered later watching his career go down in flames, but the fact remains that those words, in a public broadcast widely available on the internet, provide support for pedophiles and pedophile apologists, of which there are plenty on both the right and the left. Male sexual predation on girls and teen women is a huge problem. I personally know many women whose psychological, social, and sexual lives have been severely damaged if not ruined by males who felt entitled to abuse them sexually as girls or teens. One quantifiable aspect of this problem is the fact that sixty percent of the fathers of children born to females aged 15-17 were three or more years older.

And I hate to tell you, but gay people doing it doesn’t make it OK. I had an intense emotional entanglement with a high school teacher at age 17, and believe me, I was in no way psychologically prepared for a sexual relationship with someone in her 30s.

Despite how people love to focus on the motivations of the victim where sex is concerned (“those shameless unwed mothers!” “women have a right to sell their bodies!” “children have sexual feelings and who are we to deny them that!” “the bottom controls the scene!”) pedophilia and sexual abuse are about power, not about the desires or actions of children or teens. In a culture that fetishizes youth and still struggles with a legacy of puritanism about sex, it’s true there’s little healthy discussion of adults’ inappropriate desires towards teens. But rational adults know that you don’t take advantage of young people’s desires for your own gratification. Young people need and deserve time to explore sexuality on their own or with peers, if they want to, before they can honestly choose a relationship with someone several years older than them. If you’re a 29-year-old who believes a 15-year-old is a viable sexual partner for you, you are a predator, full stop. And anyone, gay or straight, who says differently deserves to lose their public platform, even if the ones who take it away only do so because they think gay sex is icky.

Gender abolition my left butt cheek

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, two can play at this game:

“nonbinary” binarist: I’m here to subvert the gender binary!
Feminist: That’s great! So you want to help people be comfortable in the bodies they have, without depending on capitalistic BigMedPharma?
“nonbinary” binarist: Wait what? Gatekeeping is wrong and bad because suicide!
Feminist: But surely, you encourage kids to wear and do what they like, without telling them they must be the opposite sex?
“nonbinary” binarist: Obviously a 2-year-old girl who doesn’t like barrettes needs his trans identity validated! (*eyeroll*) And don’t call me Shirley, can’t you see I identify as masculine today?
Feminist: Hmmmm. So you oppose the abuse of women by and in pornography and prostitution?
“nonbinary” binarist: Hell no, that shit is sexxaay!
Feminist: But you must support efforts against harms to women and girls like genital mutilation, child marriage, and “honor” killings?
“nonbinary” binarist:  Islamophobe!
Feminist: So you’re completely on board with every single harmful, sexist abuse ever invented by the patriarchy.  How exactly are you “subverting the gender binary” again?
“nonbinary” binarist:  You’re literally murdering me!! I hope you get raped!

Truth in advertising

sausage-party-1They may as well use this poster for 99.8% of the excreta of male writers and directors, since even movies named after women aren’t about the woman.


Case in point:

Meryl Streep is one of the finest actors of her generation. Presumably these guys paid for the privilege of having her grace their movie — and then they waste her talents by making Florence into a glorified mannequin to be posed by mediocre-on-his-best-day Hugh Grant?

We learn almost nothing about Florence except the few facts needed to create sympathy for her and mitigate the spoiled-rich-lady-using-her-fortune-to-insulate-herself-from-reality image the character otherwise might have projected. There are hints of Florence’s intriguing past — she played the piano for the president as a child! She was performing in a “violet velvet dress” the night she met Mr Bayfield! She got her own apartment as a young woman despite her father’s objections! We’d like to know more about these experiences — maybe a flashback or two? We’d like a better picture of how Florence sees herself, how she understands her ability, and what motivates her performances. We’d like to see her interacting with a female friend, perhaps, (Bechdel test fail) or exchanging more than two sentences with her Irish lady’s maid, or really having contact with anyone other than her sycophantic, wishy-washy husband or her smug, ambitious accompanist.

But no. It’s so much more important to show Hugh Grant getting wasted and dancing with someone else’s wife in the apartment Florence pays for, or cavorting in golden-sunshine-washed Long Island meadows with his lover (played by a woman 23 years younger than Grant*). We must foreground the sweet, self-sacrificing actions “Whitey” performs to protect Florence from herself. God forbid a man lowering himself to care for a woman (the way women worldwide take care of men every day) not get center stage in a movie that’s not about him. Because old fat ladies are boring and it’s a sausage party after all!

I love you Meryl. I hate you BBC.

Oh, and yes:



Whoever thought this up, may you burn in hell.

* I will say that in a rare and unusual departure for the movie business, Streep is 11 years older than Grant.