Child of Two Heterosexuals Comes Out Against Marriage

forbidden-marriageListen up you shmucks.

1. Nobody has a perfect childhood, not even in the glorious uberheteropatriarchacapitalisticexpialidocious we currently inhabit in Central North America. I have a hard time believing you did not notice whatever random family-based suckage your heterosexually parented childhood friends may have been experiencing while you were being so horribly abused by your lesbian moms. But then again, you do sound kind of self-centered.

2. Interesting how both of these entitled whiners were raised by lesbians. Now class, would their sniveley illogical arguments be examples of a) sexism, wherein gay men are automatically considered better parents than lesbians regardless of their bona fides because, you know, +PENIS x2, or b) sexism, wherein everything that goes wrong with anyone’s life is always somehow mommy’s fault?

Good work class, the answer is a) and/or b), SEXISM!

3. This may be more or less a restating of point 1, but heterosexual parents are perfectly capable of sucking at the job. My full-on hetero mom and dad both enjoyed smacking me upside the head whenever the spirit moved them, so why isn’t Yahoo (or whatever whackadoodle site published Senor Lopez’s droolings) publishing more articles arguing that straight folks shouldn’t be allowed to get married?

4. Here’s a thought: On pain of seeming to agree with the wingnuts, why don’t we just put marriage back where it belongs — in the purview of the faith community or tradition of choice of the individuals involved? I see no reason the State should be party to anyone’s romantic, sexual or domestic entanglements, nor why certain relationship structures should be deemed socially acceptable while others aren’t.

This guy looks really creepy but even he agrees with me, and he helpfully delineates his major talking points about halfway down his home page.

STAMP OUT MARRIAGE. Think about it.